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Scottish Council of Jewish Communities (SCoJeC)
Scottish Council of Jewish Communities (SCoJeC)
Scottish Council of Jewish Communities (SCoJeC)

 

Judaism and the Jewish Community

Milestones:
Getting Married

 
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Additional Information

At the start of the marriage ceremony, many communities have the tradition that the bride walks round the groom either three or seven times under the chuppah.

The ceremony is in two parts, both recited over a goblet of wine. The first is the betrothal, and is almost always immediately succeeded by the full marriage. The main part of the latter is seven blessings that are often recited by family members and friends to wish the couple well, and the bride and groom then drink from the goblet.

During the ceremony, the ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud and given by the groom to the bride. In it the husband promises to look after his new wife, reflecting its origins in a time when women were often unable to support themselves financially. It is signed by two witnesses who attest to the fact that she freely accepted it, as otherwise the marriage is not valid. Many couples have a beautiful illustrated ketubah which they put in a frame on the wall.

During the ceremony, the wedding ring is traditionally placed on the index finger of the left hand (although generally later moved to the more usual fourth finger).

The ceremony ends with the breaking of a glass as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple, and that even though it the wedding is a happy occasion, the world is still not yet a perfect place.

The Masorti, Reform, and Liberal Jewish communities have recently begun to hold same sex weddings, but the Orthodox Jewish community does not do this.

Jewish weddings do not have to take place in a synagogue, and in fact many Orthodox and other communities prefer to have the chuppah out of doors.

Divorce is allowed within Judaism, and like marriage it must be mutually agreed by the parties. A religious divorce (get) is required as well as a civil divorce so that the bond between the parties is completely dissolved.

 

Getting Married

 

Suggested discussion questions and activities

What do you think the reasons are for the ring being placed on the index finger?

Do you think getting married is useful or important for a couple? Is it outdated?

Additional Resources

Liturgy, Rituals and Customs of Jewish Weddings (P6+)

Breaking the Glass at a Jewish Wedding (P6+)

The Deep Meaning Behind An Orthodox Jewish Wedding (P5+)

 
 
 

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